Rebooting, Again

Again and again and again. And every time I’m starting from a worse point than before. It’s really quite disheartening. I feel like life is in a constant 1 forward, 2 backward pattern. I’ll lose some weight, get to feeling a lot better, then my RA will flare, or I’ll get in a car accident, or someone will get sick, or I’ll have another miscarriage and the old habits will return. Because let’s face it, when you’re depressed and in pain, meal prep sucks. It’s so much easier to get take out or drive through or go out. Bad Minta.

 

This time it was an RA flare. Well, partially. Also, I switched to a new RA drug. I have always wished that I could cure my RA with diet, but so far I still need the drugs, or there’s no walking, cooking, caring for kids or really getting out of bed at all. Of course, I’ve never found the wherewithal to juice fast for more than 10 days at a time, either. Anyhoo, the new drug. It has helped with the pain, but has caused A LOT of water gain. Like 45+ pounds of water gain. Between Lasix and rebooting I’ve been able to get about 15 of those pounds off over the last week and a half. But, am stuck. Obviously, I need to be more vigilant and do a proper juice fast.

 

So, as I’m navigating this new attempt at health expect more posts here again.

The Juice Fast: Let’s Talk About Day 3

I don’t know about you, juicies, but I find Day 3 to be an absolute bear. If I make it through, I’m usually good for a few days, but Ho-Lee-Cow getting through feels like it will take an eternity!  I find my head full of craziness and cravings. Oh the cravings. It was terrible. I mean, obviously not unbearable, because I’m sitting here on Day 4, but it was bad.

 

This whole fast has been bad so far for the crazies and the desire to just eat. EAT!!!!! I have been eating plant based for a couple of weeks, so restaurants haven’t been in the equation for a while. And… I miss them. I love eating in restaurants. Which is why my ass is huge. I am the only person in my house that cooks, so restaurants feel like a luxury to me. Someone else cooks, I get EXACTLY what I want. It’s amazing. Plus, no dishes. No cleaning. I wish I could eat every meal at restaurants.

 

And… I used to. Not every, but a lot.

 

Restaurant food is horrible for your health and wallet, though. Ultimately, while the RA an prednisone make losing weight hard and gaining weight easy, I can honestly tell you it was eating in restaurants that got me here. A few years ago when my income jumped up suddenly the hubs and I started eating out a lot (we could afford it and it got us out of the house…). That is exactly when both of our weights started going up.

 

Anyway, Day 3 for me was all about wanting restaurant food. Any restaurant food. Preferably a Chicago Dog from Sonic and Fries from Rally’s. But, any ol’ restaurant food would do. I did resist. It was hard. But around 11pm I swear to you I could SMELL the meal I wanted. As if the bag was sitting on my table. Literally, I could smell it.

 

Which makes me wonder how much stuff is sitting around in our fat cells? Was I craving that exact meal because it was one of the last meat meals I ate and the toxins from it were coming out? Will other meals start detoxing the same way? (I hope not! Yesterday was brutal.) I seriously think the preservatives in the processed and junk foods are stored up in our cells and we can’t get to health until they get out.

 

On the RA front, I’m feeling a little better, but not much. I think I overdid it yesterday.

 

But, am down 11.8 pounds.

21 Days

So, I haven’t declared a length on this fast, yet. In my head I’ve been thinking of it as a 60 day fast, but that we’d see how it goes. Playing it real loosey goosey like that enables me to quit whenever I want without feeling like I’ve failed. And, you know what? Whenever I end it, I won’t have “failed.” I decided to fast for better health and have done so for a few days. I can always do it again. So, if it’s 10 or 30 or 60 or 17 or 9 days of fasting, I did something good for myself.

 

But… I did recently read that people have gotten good results with healing RA in 21 days. Ironically my next appointment with my rheumatologist is on the 21st day of my fast. So, it might be coincidence, but I’m taking it as a sign to really try for 21 days. (OK, I am really setting a goal of 21 days, but the whole timing bit is tongue in cheek…) I would love to be able to show up at her office off of the prednisone and feeling great. Or at least not hobbling about on this bum left ankle. Which has been hurting for over a year. A year. I’ve had injections in the ankle and taken so many pills and for a year I’ve been barely able to walk. The only decent relief I’ve had was for a few days toward the end of and after my 10 day fast in September. I want off of the prednisone so badly.

 

 

Salsa Juice

One of my experiments yesterday was a salsa juice. With Cinco de Mayo coming up, I want to be prepared!

 

 

Of course, I started by looking at proper salsa recipes. Turns out, a lot of salsa is made with cooked tomatoes. Something I should have known (duh! obviously if it’s sold in a far it’s cooked!) but for some reason did not. So, I altered my search for “fresh” salsa recipes. First I tried to just juice a whole recipe. Not such a great plan. Water content matters…

But I ended up with a pretty decent juice that is very salsa like in flavor.

 

Salsa Juice:

makes 2 – 16oz servings

Juice together

• 24 oz Tomatoes (I used the ones on the vine, because they were on sale)
• 1/2 small Red Onion or medium Vidalia
• 1 Jalapeño Pepper
• 1 Lime (peeled)
• 1 bunch Cilantro
• 1 clove Garlic
• 8oz Sweet Pepper (I used those cute little ones, but a big Red Pepper would also work)

Then stir in:

• 1 Tbs Vinegar (I used Balsamic)
• 1 tsp Ground Cumin
• 1 tsp Dried Oregano (or, if you’re feeling really spendy, buy fresh and juice it)
• Sprinkle of Salt (my sprinkle was more like 1/8 tsp)
• 1 tsp Frank’s Red Hot (I added in addition to the jalapeño, but not everyone likes spicy the way I do…)

Yumm-o

 

If you are averse to any of the add-in’s then by all means, leave them out. The juice is tasty on it’s own. But the extras make it stellar.

Does It Matter

There are pre-fast leftovers in my fridge. There are fresh peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies on my counter. There are crackers in my cupboard. And… there are chili-cheese coneys at Dairy Queen.

I want them. All of them.

I want to feel full, and comforted. I want to chew. I want that emotional release that comes with eating a meal that you really want. You know that feeling of “ahhh! that was good.”

Which would be part of the reason I’m so fat to begin with… I’ve always chosen the “ahh” of food over the “ahh” of slipping into smaller clothes. Obviously, the “ahh” of food is much more immediate. Who doesn’t love a little instant gratification? I know I do…

So, today I spent all morning cleaning the kitchen, then playing with the kids outside and I let myself go too long without juicing. When I came back in I really wanted to just eat leftovers and crackers (I love pretty much any kind of dip-able leftovers with club crackers). I even almost convinced myself to go ahead and have them, call this day a bust and start over tomorrow. Or not. My logic?

Why does it even matter? I’ve always been fat, I always will be fat. I’m going to fail eventually anyway, might as well be my choice.How do I even know this will help with the pain and energy and RA? Who cares?

Ouch! Turns out I’m pretty negative when I’m hungry. So, I made a deal with myself. I’d have a juice, and if I still felt like being a petulant child when my blood sugar wasn’t in the toilet, I’d give in.

While I was drinking my juice (a delicious Asian inspired carrot concoction) I had an epiphany. It doesn’t really matter. If I want to stay the same as I’ve always been, I can make the same choices I always have. If I want to make a change, then I’ll have to make different choices. Not just now, but forever. It doesn’t really matter. The choices I make today will shape my tomorrow, but I have complete freedom to make whatever decision I want. One carrot juice isn’t going to save me any more than one coney dog is going to kill me. It’s all about the pattern of choices. So this one day doesn’t matter. This one choice, isn’t important. But, pile it up with a couple hundred of its friends and there’s what’s important.

Needless to say, I did not go ahead and eat my stir fry with crackers. I didn’t drive down the street and get a coney dog. I had my (delicious) carrot juice and several glasses of water. I’m still hungry. I still want to eat. I still half feel like giving up. But, I have one more good decision behind me. It needs some friends to help build some momentum. I think I’ll get there. I feel like today will end just fine and tomorrow, too. Maybe in a few days it won’t feel like such a struggle…

Juice Fast: Day 1

Alrighty, juicies, I think we can call Day 1 a success. I made it through the whole day without snacking on the kids’s left overs, or driving to get a chili cheese coney. That is the craving du jour, by the way… coney dogs. A lot of cravings I’ve found a way to juicify, but I don’t see this one getting juiced.

 

I had a lot of other stuff on my mind, but am calling it a night.

So Far, So Good

I’m trying it again, folks. It may be Day One everyday for the next month. Or not. But, I’m going to keep trying. Because I need this. This time it IS about losing weight and it IS about detox. This time it’s about feeling better and I won’t feel better without losing weight and detoxing. So, I’m really hoping to build some momentum and kick off a nice long fast, but however this thing goes down I’m going to stick to it.

 

So far today I’ve had three juices. Well, I only got half of the first two. My niece LOVES the fresh juice. I started with an Apple/Cantaloupe juice. It was pretty good. I’m not a huge fan of cantaloupe, but it’s a great source of vitamins A and C (and it was on sale this week…). After my niece downed most of that one I made a nice Apple/Orange. If you haven’t tried Apple/Orange, I’m going to have to encourage you to give that one a go. I love it. I use 2 of each and it makes a delicious juice.

 

The best juice so far, though, was the watermelon juice. Just watermelon. It was our first one of the season and Oh.My.Stars it was delicious. The littles devoured their cubes and I drank down two big glasses of juice.

 

I’m feeling hungry right now, so I’m thinking about taking another stab at salsa juice. The one I did yesterday was not so good, but I have a tomato craving (and tomatoes were on sale this week…).

 

I don’t yet know how often I’ll be checking in, but one of my accountability plans is to blog when I want to eat. So, you may be hearing from me A LOT in the next few days.

Not a Happy Ending Afterall

So, hey juicies… Yeah, that story I told ya’ll last time did not have a happy ending after all. My daughter was born at home at 9w5d gestation on March 10. Her heart was not beating, not that she’d have been viable even if it were.

 

Between that blow and a severe explosion of RA symptoms I’ve been a lazy cow over the last six weeks. I’ve had several fasting false starts, including one today.

 

Thing is I know a juice fast will help me feel better. It has worked before.

 

But it’s JUST SO HARD to find the willpower when not juice fasting is so much easier. This sucks.

 

I need some accountability and support, yo.

New Juicer

Hey there juicies! The new juicer is here. It’s a $99 Jack LaLanne, and guess what! I love it. It is SO.MUCH.BETTER. than the old one. The old one was loud and huge and a pain to clean. It cost twice as much and was a supposedly reputable brand, but the new one runs circles around it in my book. So, if you’re in the market for a juicer, get the Jack LaLanne.

 

Also, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead is available to stream for free on Hulu! http://www.hulu.com/watch/289122/fat-sick-and-nearly-dead So, if you don’t have Netflix, you can still watch it all you want!

So, I Didn’t Fall Off the Earth…

** I don’t normally do this, but some of the info in this post is not exactly public, yet, so if you know me in real life or on Facebook, please don’t share, just yet… **

 

Hiya Juicies… If there are any of ya left out there. So, as you may have guessed I’m not juice fasting right now. Actually, I’m not juicing at all right now, because my juicer did eventually bite the dust. I wish i could say I went right out and bought another one and picked up and everything was cool. But, alas, that is not how this story goes. While it may not go quite the way I wish as far as juicing is concerned and it has it’s ups and downs, it is a mostly happy story. Mostly.

I know I’ve mentioned many a time that my juicer sounded very much like a plane taking off. Apparently, that was a sign that something was going wrong in there. It started shutting off mid juice and the juice started being really pulpy. I was dealing with this OK on the fast and committed to using that juicer until it could used no more. Then it started smoking. I take smoke as a sign of done when it comes to electronics. I could have went out that day and bought a new one, but why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right?

Well, tomorrow brought with it a positive pregnancy test. Yes, literally the day after my juicer blew up. Which would have been happy news and would have been a happy reason to not resume the fast, but… this pregnancy wasn’t sticky. I’ve told you before that one of my health issues I’d hoped to address with the juicing way of life was infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss. So, it looks like the infertility part is responding, and the RPL, not as well. Suffering yet another early miscarriage was a blow to my resolve and I ended up not getting a new juicer. We all know that when things get tough, Minta likes to take the easy way out. So, she did. Not proud of that.

But, wait this is supposed to be a mostly happy story, right? Well, happy number one is that, while I abandoned the juicing I didn’t turn my back on all healthy habits. So, I did lose a little weight over the next month. And, I re-gained my desire for juice and decided to buy a new juicer (on the agenda for today, actually).

Happy number two, is a much bigger deal. Because as of today, I am six weeks pregnant. I got pregnant again the follow cycle after the early miscarriage. The vast majority of my miscarriages happen between 4 & 4.5 weeks. I suspect there is some of chromosomal issue at play there. Of the pregnancies that have made it past 5 weeks one resulted in my son and the other ended at 10 weeks. So, we are several weeks away from being out of the woods, but… we are on the right side of the odds at this point.

That said, I’m sure you’ll understand why I’m not fasting right now. But, there will be new recipes and hopefully some helpful info for those who want to juice while pregnant.